you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
