i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I looked at my own cervix.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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