it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
