its not stalking. its research.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
