Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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