ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
