I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
