Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
and you fell through a lawn chair
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
