is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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