i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
