My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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