We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
