He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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