quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
