first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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