Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
