yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My day in three words: secret purse cake
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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