He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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