my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
