So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
