the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
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