Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
