what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
