Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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