you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
