She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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