How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
