you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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