did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
