ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
