I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
