new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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