I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
