This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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