Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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