Kiss
Puke
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
