I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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