when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
