There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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