We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
