Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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