it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
