I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This is the high leading the old right now
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
