i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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