My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
