I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm too high and old for this...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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