You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
