The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
