She said her name was "party"
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
