I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
