One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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