go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
