the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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