Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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