Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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