He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
