Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
